“Traveling is a brutality. It forces you to trust strangers and to lose sight of all that familiar comfort of home and friends. You are constantly off balance. Nothing is yours except the essential things – air, sleep, dreams, the sea, the sky – all things tending towards the eternal or what we imagine of it.” – Cesare Pavese
I got the bright idea of going back on my facebook page to a whole year ago. I put my life in rewind and kept clicking "older posts" until I reached last April. It's astounding to me how different I was a year ago and it is scary to imagine myself a year from this very moment.
A year ago I had just watched my little, Chris, cross over into the AKPSi brotherhood. Unity was close by and the last semester of sophomore year was coming to a close. I was living with one of my best friends, Silvana and I had yet to meet so many people that have changed me.
I hadn't started my internship at McGladrey, I hadn't worked at Omega with Iszy, Hannah, and Chelsea. I was still 19 and just starting to realize that college isn't forever.
I was taking Dance and Society, Astronomy, Managerial Accounting, ITEC, and Finance. I had been getting tans outside on the quad during breaks.
Nobody tells you that going abroad isn't just about traveling and seeing new things. It's about seeing new parts of yourself, getting homesick, getting depressed, and feeling like you're losing touch with reality. I don't know many people who have done what I'm doing, but if you're reading this I hope it's bringing back memories of self discovery.
I thought being abroad would be a good way to run away from my problems and start a new life. They don't tell you that the movies are lying when they take an actor and put them on the sunny beaches of Mexico and they're life has a whole new beginning. There is no such thing as completely starting over because your past will always, always catch up with you. The real change begins when you turn around, face your past demons and grow and learn from your mistakes. Being a teenager and being in college is such a difficult time - that's why we drink and we do stupid things. Because actually taking responsibility for your actions is a scary thought. It's much easier to procrastinate and watch youtube.
Here I am. Alone on the other side of the world and I'm in the process of taking responsibility for my actions, for my future, and for myself. I haven't been in the same country for more than 5 months in a year. I've been around the world (yet to go back) and I admit that I am feeling lost. Feeling like I'm losing touch with reality. My feet haven't stayed on the ground enough for me to feel like I've got ahold of something real, so my only option is to float in the clouds until landing back in New York at the end of June.
This isn't a post crying out "save me." This is me telling the world I am in the process of saving myself, and being a better person for it. I do not regret anything I have done and I am wildly happy that I chose to live in London and Brisbane. This is me saying there isn't anything I would change.
I got the bright idea of going back on my facebook page to a whole year ago. I put my life in rewind and kept clicking "older posts" until I reached last April. It's astounding to me how different I was a year ago and it is scary to imagine myself a year from this very moment.
A year ago I had just watched my little, Chris, cross over into the AKPSi brotherhood. Unity was close by and the last semester of sophomore year was coming to a close. I was living with one of my best friends, Silvana and I had yet to meet so many people that have changed me.
I hadn't started my internship at McGladrey, I hadn't worked at Omega with Iszy, Hannah, and Chelsea. I was still 19 and just starting to realize that college isn't forever.
I was taking Dance and Society, Astronomy, Managerial Accounting, ITEC, and Finance. I had been getting tans outside on the quad during breaks.
Nobody tells you that going abroad isn't just about traveling and seeing new things. It's about seeing new parts of yourself, getting homesick, getting depressed, and feeling like you're losing touch with reality. I don't know many people who have done what I'm doing, but if you're reading this I hope it's bringing back memories of self discovery.
I thought being abroad would be a good way to run away from my problems and start a new life. They don't tell you that the movies are lying when they take an actor and put them on the sunny beaches of Mexico and they're life has a whole new beginning. There is no such thing as completely starting over because your past will always, always catch up with you. The real change begins when you turn around, face your past demons and grow and learn from your mistakes. Being a teenager and being in college is such a difficult time - that's why we drink and we do stupid things. Because actually taking responsibility for your actions is a scary thought. It's much easier to procrastinate and watch youtube.
Here I am. Alone on the other side of the world and I'm in the process of taking responsibility for my actions, for my future, and for myself. I haven't been in the same country for more than 5 months in a year. I've been around the world (yet to go back) and I admit that I am feeling lost. Feeling like I'm losing touch with reality. My feet haven't stayed on the ground enough for me to feel like I've got ahold of something real, so my only option is to float in the clouds until landing back in New York at the end of June.
This isn't a post crying out "save me." This is me telling the world I am in the process of saving myself, and being a better person for it. I do not regret anything I have done and I am wildly happy that I chose to live in London and Brisbane. This is me saying there isn't anything I would change.